Even the most senior executives sometimes struggle with the question “Who am I supposed to be when I walk into the office in the morning?” So it is not surprising that first time leaders, and leaders at all other levels of experience, have the same challenge.

Are you supposed to be nice and supportive? How about professional and aloof? Or maybe today is the day to be a real “hard ass” to make a point to your team. Many times when I’m working as someone’s executive coach, they will lay out a problem that involves other people, and then throw their hands up in the air and say “I’m really confused about how to handle this”. The curious thing, however, is that many of these people actually do know what to do when they slow down and look at questions like “What would a wise leader do in a situation like this?”, or “Who do you know who is really good at handling this kind of situation, & what would they do?”

The problem is that most leaders run too fast, and spend too little time reflecting on their own beliefs about good leadership. So when they confront a specific problem, they feel lost until they slow down, think about good leadership, and get in touch with what they personally want to model. Every once in awhile, it pays to put your feet up and tap into your own leadership wisdom. It is also a great idea to book coffee or lunch with others leaders you respect just to share your leadership insights.